By Sara Orellana
Nineteen short years ago, I became a mother. For me, this was the single most defining moment in my life. You see, I never actively made the decision to become a mother. I just became one.
Having B changed me in ways I can hardly describe. Suddenly, I was responsible for someone other than myself. Every decision I made/make affects someone other than myself. The challenges have been many. Yet, I wouldn’t trade a moment.
As I sit here writing this article, remembering all the moments we have shared, rather than reminisce, I would like to share the advice I wish someone had given me.
Fall wildly and passionately in love. You will never experience a love as intense as your first. Throw yourself into the moment and enjoy it. Savor the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the moments you would give anything for your phone to ring. In losing yourself to this love, you will find parts of yourself you never knew existed.
Embrace the emotions. No matter what the emotion is, sit with it, feel it and allow the emotion to invade every inch of your body. Then let go. Let the emotion go. Don’t hold on to the positive emotions or the negative emotions. Remember the moments, hold tight to your memories, but let the emotions go.
If you don’t feel like enough for the person you are with, you will never be enough. Don’t waste your time trying to be something you cannot be. You see, the fault is not yours. You are not lacking; the other person is looking for something you can never give them. And to be honest, no one will ever be able to give them what they are looking for.
Learn to love yourself. Take yourself on dates. Spend time alone. Treat yourself. Get to know your true self. Because at the end of the day, you are all you have. The better you know yourself, the healthier you will be.
The single most important thing in your life is your health – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. You cannot give what you do not have. Thus, set boundaries, prioritize your health and learn what makes you happy. Create routines to ensure you prioritize your health daily.
The person, job or situation that is stressing you out is not worth it. Learn how to work in a toxic environment without losing yourself or allowing the negativity to seep in while you look for a better job. Set boundaries and prioritize your peace.
Life is short. One blink and 10 years have passed. So enjoy the moments, make the memories, allow yourself to live. Yes, goals and accomplishments are worth it, but so is savoring the cuddles, laughter and late-night snuggles.
Sara Orellana is a community volunteer, entrepreneur, author, amateur chef and advocate for rescued animals. She may be reached by email at believestrengthpassion@gmail.com.